


all goes round again

by shippingfandoms



Category: The Evil Within (Video Game)
Genre: F/M, jokid, jouli, post-EW2, warnings and ratings might be subject to change
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-22
Updated: 2019-02-05
Packaged: 2019-08-05 22:51:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,015
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16376531
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shippingfandoms/pseuds/shippingfandoms
Summary: After making sure Sebastian and Lily are safe, there's one more person she has to make it up to. This time, however, the stakes are much higher—and much more personal.--Kidman teams up with Tatiana to revive a familiar face.





	1. Prologue

The room smelled like strong antiseptic, so much so that Kidman had to force herself not to keel over. It was strange how such a small space could loom so large. Maybe it was the hospital-white tiles. At any rate, she hated how much it reminded her of Beacon. But it wasn’t like they had a choice right now.

Tatiana was waiting for her inside, taking notes and clicking away at a monitor. She didn’t even bother looking at Kidman when she spoke. “You’re late.”

Kidman sighed. She sometimes forgot how snippy she was outside STEM. “Just had to see an old friend off.”

“You mean Sebastian?”

“Never know if there’s someone out to get them,” she said, watching Tatiana’s lips curl.

“Ah, yes. Quite a character, he is. And cute, too.”

Kidman groaned, garnering a little chuckle from the other woman. “I’m joking, of course. Are you ready?”

“Ready as I’ll ever be,” she said, taking a stride in front of the monitor. “So, what’ve we got?”

Tatiana paused for a moment. “All his vital signs seem to be in order, however,” She turned to look at Kidman. “You understand that his consciousness has been trapped in STEM for more than three years, right? If we ever do manage to come in contact with his psyche, we don’t know for certain if he’ll be the person you knew when he comes back.”

Kidman felt her hand instinctively ball into a fist. "We’ll just have to find out.” Wordlessly, she walked up to the pod at the center of the room, glancing at its resident. 

He looked so gaunt there, he might as well be a corpse. His hair was longer, and he’d grown a semblance of facial hair over the years. At least Mobius didn’t leave him in his old work clothes. He’d been garbed in typical hospital scrubs, no doubt for further experimentation.

The thought angered Kidman a bit. Gritting her teeth, she felt herself grip the edge of the tub like she could shatter the porcelain with her bare hands. 

Tatiana walked up to her, handing a headset of some sort. “When you’re ready, wear the device and try speaking to him. I’ll try to sync your brainwaves and see if that’ll stimulate anything.”

“Alright,” she replied, putting it on. As the device whirred and beeped, she slowly bent over the figure in the tub, eyes never leaving him.

“I’m going to make it right, Joseph,” she said, clenching her fists. “I promise.”


	2. Chapter 2

_Let’s see. Uh... Christ, I don’t know where to start. We... or at least, as you might remember it... we met around August of 2012, when I was assigned to you and Sebastian. But you probably had a file on me from Mobius—you know, about how I got ”promoted” and all the cases I’d closed. I’d like to think you don’t actually believe that anymore._

_Anyway—I remember walking into the KCPD, looking for you guys. I think I talked to Oscar first, bless his soul. And then I saw you, crouched over your desk. I think you were working on a homicide case..._

He was having a headache, that’s what it was—probably from stress, or lack of sleep, or a little too much caffeine. Or maybe all three. 

And then there was Seb. At the thought, he took off his glasses and massaged the bridge of his nose, hoping it would make him feel a little better.

“Detective Oda?”

_Not now,_  he thought, feeling the dull thrum in his head growing stronger. He didn’t even bother looking at the source of the voice. “Yes?”

“Juli Kidman. I believe I was assigned to you and Detective Castellanos?”

He freezes for a moment, making sure the girl didn’t notice it. Of course—of all the things he had to forget, it had to be the rookie’s first day. And while Seb was out of it, too. 

“Right, sorry,” he said, standing up and offering a handshake. “A pleasure to meet you. How do you want me to address you? Juli? Kidman?”

“Kidman’s fine,” she said, smiling a bit and returning the handshake. 

He smiled back. “Right, Kidman it is. And you don’t have to call me Detective Oda; Joseph’s fine.”

“Alright, Joseph.”

He paused for a moment, trying to get a good look at her. She seemed nice enough. Straight to the point. But she had a veil of some sort, like she was hiding something. Perhaps he’d know soon enough.

“Well, you can take a seat at that desk near the window. It’s across my mine, just in case you have any questions,” he said, gesturing to the desk. “I’ll just go in and talk to Sebastian about the arrangements. For now, just make yourself at home.” 

“Right,” she said, and with a nod, she went over to her desk. Well, at least she knew how to follow orders. Lord knows he needed it with all the shit he had to get through.

 

* * *

 

The first week into Kidman’s training, unfortunately, didn’t go as smoothly as he’d hoped. On Seb’s part, at least—Kidman managed to get on the man’s nerves a total of five times, if not more. While he understood what Seb was going through, the trips to his office just to hear him rant about the rookie began to get tedious, if not draining.

“Why do you keep defending her, Joseph?” he blurted, hands gesticulating wildly. Seb was usually stoic about these things, but with the scent of whiskey strong on his breath and his erratic behavior since Lily’s death seemed to put him on a prolonged edge. And when he was on edge, it wasn’t pretty.

“I’m not defending her,” he replied. “I’m just saying you might be taking things out of context.”

“When have I ever taken things out of context?” Seb retorted. “I’m a fucking detective, for Christ’s sake.”

“She just  _glanced_  at you and you claimed she was giving you the stink eye,” Joseph replied, breathlessly.

“It was a  _soulless gaze,_  Joseph. The kind you give petri dishes, not superiors.”

The younger man sighed. “Look, maybe you could take it a little easier on the kid? She’s just started after all.”

“Hey, you were the one who talked about ‘rookies slowing us down’ and some shit,” Seb said, almost petulantly.

“You’re being oversensitive, Sebastian.”

“Oversensitive?” he said, almost taken aback. “I think you might have a crush, Joseph. Her being Big Tits McGee and all that.”

“Oh my god,” Joseph said, exasperated. When Seb wanted to get petty, he could. “Okay, sure Seb. Think of it whatever you want. But I hope you remember we’re superiors who have to take care of her nonetheless,” he said. “You wanted this, remember?”

Sebastian just scowled, not saying another word. Joseph took it as a sign to leave. 

He hoped nobody noticed their little shouting match. The dull thrum was back, and it was slowly developing into a migraine.

As he sat at his desk, he noticed Kidman eyeing him from the side, somewhat curiously. He had a feeling that she knew the whole meeting was about her.

“You need anything, Kidman?” he asked, noticing the girl’s immediate change of expression. Almost like she was embarrassed.

“Nothing, detective,” she said, hesitating. “It’s just... does Detective Castellanos not like me?”

He nearly bit his tongue at that.  _Can’t dance around it forever._  “It just takes a while for Sebastian to warm up to other people. Just give him some time.”

“Alright,” she said, and for a while, they just sat there silently. Then, “How about you, detective?”

“Hm?”

“Do you—I mean, is my performance satisfactory to you?”  

Joseph paused for a moment. He wished he could tell her the truth—that none of this was her fault, that Seb was going through a rough spot and had a habit of taking it out on others. But he couldn’t possibly do that to him. Or the rookie, either.

“Well, it’s only been a week so I can’t tell for sure,” he said, looking over at her. He was just glad PD was relatively noisy. “But don’t worry about it so much.”

She gave him a prolonged stare, and he wondered if he said anything wrong. It was almost as if she was searching for something. Sincerity? Judgment? All his years as a detective, and he was stumped by a single gaze.

Kidman seemed to find what she was looking for, giving him a wry—if not hesitant—smile. Something about it seemed a little hopeful, if not a little sad.

“Okay.”

“Also, I’ll need a report on that robbery case by next week. Please don’t forget it.”

“Right.”

It was hard to get a handle on Kidman, he had to admit. But he couldn’t let that take precedence right now. There were still a bunch of pending cases on the line, for one. Not to mention Seb’s sanity. Nonetheless, he took one last look at the rookie to see if she’d begun working on the case when something had caught his attention.

She had purple eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Noticed this was a rarepair, and as with all my rare faves, I wanted to write something about them. There's just so much interesting stuff to unpack when it comes to them. What's the significance of Sebastian mentioning Joseph might have a crush on Kidman? Why is there so much emphasis on Kidman killing Joseph in her DLCs? Why does she figure prominently in Joseph's[ Executioner mural?](http://nimsies.tumblr.com/post/119933567251/jesus-christ-this-is-actually-pretty-fucked-up) The possibilities are endless~
> 
> (Also, gratuitous Tatiana because we never explore what she actually does for Mobius. That, and I love her.)
> 
> Nonetheless, hope you enjoy this little fic! Hopefully I'll be able to update it by next week, but until then let me know what you think about the first few chapters!


	3. Chapter 3

“You can take five if you want.”

With a sigh, Kidman took off the headset, wiping the sweat off her brow. While the room was quite chilly, it wasn’t particularly comfortable wearing the metal contraption.  

“About time. Any updates?”

Some clicking. “The good news is that he’s very responsive.”

Kidman paused, looking over the man again. “And the bad news?”

“Can’t say it’s bad news for sure. Right now, we’re jogging his memories to see how much can be salvaged from STEM’s influence, so I’ll have to monitor it as we go along.” Slowly, she gave Kidman a prying look. “Why don’t you sit back and have some coffee? Standing there isn’t going to help the detective any.”

She tried to hold back her annoyance. While Kidman knew Tatiana meant well, there was still something grating about how wry she could be sometimes.

The smell of coffee immediately filled the atmosphere. Tatiana glanced at the brain scan monitor with a smile. 

“Looks like we have some positive recognition. He must really like his coffee.”

Unconsciously, Kidman gave a little smile as the woman handed her a cup. “He couldn’t go two hours without it, it’s crazy. He’d even pair it with the weirdest stuff, like nori on buttered toast or whatever.”

For a moment, Tatiana didn’t respond, and when she glanced at her, she noticed she was smiling.

“What?”

The woman took a sip from her cup. “I didn’t ask about his eating habits, agent.”

 _Oh, for fuck’s sake..._  “Okay, first off, could we quit it with the ‘agent’ shit? Mobius is long gone, and we’re no longer agents. And secondly,” she said, gripping her cup furiously. “I get the whole ‘disinterested, sarcastic nurse’ thing is part of your whole schtick, but if we’re gonna work together, you might want to tone it down a little.”

Tatiana didn’t respond at first, like she was trying to process what she’d just said. Then, an unmistakable chuckle escaped from her lips, something that both frustrated and confused Kidman.

“What?” 

“You forget that I was in charge of personnel files,” Tatiana said. “I know of your disposition before the indoctrination process. It’s interesting to see slivers of that old personality slither through.”

She groaned, deciding to suppress her irritation for another day.  _Just let it go, Kid. Let it go._  “Okay. Fine. This is all funny to you; I get it.”

“Just making sure we keep to the task at hand.”

Kidman gave a quick sneer. “Right.”

Tatiana walked up to the monitors and began taking notes once more. “I hope you understand the importance of having a focused mental state when it comes to what we’re doing. One wrong brainwave and you might cause him to regress.”

Kidman kept silent for a moment.

“I just want to know if there’s anything I should take into consideration before we begin again,” Tatiana said.

The other woman sighed, staring into the half-empty cup. Tatiana had a point there, as much as she hated to admit it. “It’s just... when I talk about what happened in the past, it's not so much about getting him to remember. I remember it all, too. And when I do, I...”

“Remember what you felt back then.”

She gripped the cup tightly. “Yeah. And then I start remembering all the small, stupid details, like Joseph and his nori toast. I don’t know why.”

She heard Tatiana shift, ever so slightly. “Would you say that you still feel guilty about what happened to the detectives?”

She suddenly felt colder than usual.

“Of course I do.”

For a moment, the room was silent, save for the thrum of machinery and Tatiana’s hands on the keyboard. Then the woman sighed, taking off her glasses and wiping it with a soft cloth. “Look, Ms. Kidman,” she said, voice a little less snarky. “Perhaps this might not be the best time to discuss this, but as former Mobius operatives, I think you and I both know the unethical depths we had to reach in our line of work. I believe anyone with a sound moral compass would’ve found them objectionable, but we did what we had to do regardless. However, I am certain it was never out of an actual desire to hurt someone intentionally.”

Kidman looked at the mug morosely. “So, what? Is this a lecture now?” 

Tatiana continued typing. “You admitted you were feeling guilty about putting these detectives in their current state. If we are to progress, you have to realize that sometimes it isn’t your fault. It’s the system you had to operate through.” 

The other woman quirked her mouth. “Is that how you get through the day, Tatiana?” 

She continued typing. “I’m a nurse first and foremost, Ms. Kidman. Sometimes getting through is the only option.”  

The silence was so thick, it was almost audible.

“Anyway,” said Tatiana, breaking it in an anti-climactic way. “If you still feel that recalling these memories are burdensome, you could tell me about them before we begin the next session.” 

Kidman snorted. “You? Really?”

“It’s not like you have much of a choice, is there?” 

The woman sighed. Point taken. “I guess I don’t.”

“Alright then. Just let me know when you’re ready.”

 

* * *

 

He wasn’t expecting to start the week off with a stained vest, but considering his luck the past few days, maybe he should’ve. And of course, it had to involve Kidman.

“Oh, my god—Joseph, I’m so sorry.”

Not that he wasn’t used to pain. Like Sebastian, he had a few odd scars somewhere on his person, often from investigations gone wrong and stray bullets. There is, however, something about having piping hot coffee spilled on you that really wakes up those receptors.

“Jesus, Kidman,” he said, perhaps a little too forcefully. “You’ve gotta be more careful next time.”

Immediately, she rushed to get some tissue. “I can fix this, I swear. I didn’t mean —“

 _I didn’t mean to do it,_  was what she was going to say. He stopped her right there, feeling a little guilty himself.“All right, all right, that’s enough,” he said, hiding his exasperation. “I’ll just wear a coat over it or something. Was there something you wanted to tell Sebastian?”

She paused, looking a bit hesitant. It was an odd shift in tone, after all. Silently, he berated himself for being so awkward. “Well,” she began. “I think I might have a lead in the robbery case. Some witnesses said they saw strange activity along the intersection the 4th and 5th, which corroborates with the evidence we have so far. I think it’s worth looking into.”

Joseph paused. “And you’re sure your sources are reliable?”

“Positive,” she said, handing him some of the profiles. “The first witness has been a resident in the area for over 25 years, while the other made a delivery to the area during the time. Both of their stories seemed to line up with the other witnesses and what we know so far.”

He paused again, trying to process what she’d just said. While he still wasn’t convinced, it was worth a shot. “Alright. I’ll take it up with Sebastian and get Connelly to drive us up there,” he said. “Let’s hope your lead is right.” 

“It’s solid,” she said, and he could’ve sworn something flashed across her eyes. Insubordination? Anger? He couldn’t quite tell. However, he couldn’t help but feel like he’d struck something there.

“All right,” he said. “Let’s see how it goes, then.”

 

* * *

 

Kidman was right, as it turned out. Before he knew it, they were in pursuit of the suspects, two of which were heavily armed. As usual, Sebastian had led the pack, having tackled one of them into the ground and restraining the other. 

“Joseph! Kidman!” he yelled. “Watch out for the bullets!”

“A little too late for the warning, don’t you think?” said Joseph, readying his gun. Crouched behind a trash bin, he waited for the fire to die down before taking some shots of his own. Two more fell.

“He’s heading towards Main Street,” said Kidman, keeping at Sebastian’s pace. “If we don’t grab him now he’ll make it to the getaway.”

"Right,” he said. Stopping, he halted Kidman as he watched the suspect dart through the alleyway. “I'll cut the corner and catch him there. But I need you to stay with Joseph and round up the rest of these bozos.” 

Once again, another sliver of emotion had flashed across her eyes. “But—”

“You did good, Kidman,” Sebastian continued. “But this is dangerous.”

“Come on, Kidman,” Joseph said, placing a hand on her shoulder. In a flash, Sebastian darted towards another alleyway, disappearing into its nooks and crannies. “You heard Sebastian. We have to—” 

Before he could finish, however, the rookie ran off on her own, presumably following Sebastian’s lead. Swearing, he immediately felt glued to place, wondering what his next move should be. After some deliberation, he took out his radio and dialed Connelly.

“Connelly? It’s me, Joseph. I need you to come up the alley behind Grady’s Motel. We’ve got four suspects to collect.”  

Then, after making sure each suspect was well-restrained, he set off on their trail. He had an inkling of where they might’ve headed, and after breezing down the route, he managed to catch Kidman running towards the suspect, who had a gun in hand. Horrified, he watched as the man pulled the trigger, aiming at the woman’s head.

“Kidman! Don’t—”

_Crack._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As I am obviously not a detective, I would really appreciate it if you would tell me if my procedure is off. <3
> 
> All this said, sorry if this took quite a while! Had a lot of deadlines to catch up on, but nonetheless, hope you guys enjoyed this next chapter! I'll do my best to make sure the next update doesn't take too long~
> 
> (Also, the fic title is taken from [You and Me by Damon Albarn,](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m7XdqfD9xSY) if anyone was wondering. Yay! Song recs!)


	4. Chapter 4

He didn’t see what happened, exactly, but for a moment he had feared the worst. When he opened his eyes, however, a wave of relief flooded him when he saw Kidman cuffing the suspect, the gun ten feet away from them.

“James Simmons,” she said, panting in between words. “You are under arrest on suspicion of armed robbery and conspiracy to commit burglary. Anything you say may be used against you in a court of law.”

Furious, the man mustered a brief  _fuck you_ before receiving a hit to the head, care of Sebastian. 

“That’s no way to talk to an officer,” he said. 

Connelly eventually caught up with them, with the rest of the suspects loaded into the car. As Joseph helped him load Simmons, he watched Sebastian, who had turned towards Kidman. 

For a moment, they held an uneasy silence. Joseph almost thought Sebastian would lash out on her, but then he smiled, beaming with a strange sort of pride.

“While I may have every right to be mad at you, I’ll admit this was a good job for a first-timer,” he said, giving her a pat on the back. “Welcome to the KCPD, Kidman.”

And she smiled, in a way he’d never seen her smile before.  

He couldn’t quite comprehend how it made him feel, "precisely. He initially thought it was embarrassment—he had, after all, underestimated her—but that wasn’t quite. Or maybe he was apologetic for doubting her earlier.

Eventually, she and Sebastian settled into comfortable conversation, and for a minute he met her eyes, exacerbating the feeling again.

He could only give her a quick nod.

* * *

 

Despite the day’s success, they still worked well into the night, with Sebastian leaving earlier than usual. Said he had to gather his thoughts, which was usually code for another bout of late-night drinking. As usual, it worried him.

That left him and Kidman, which was even worse. The whole car ride back was awkward from start to finish, save for Connelly’s jabs and Seb’s playful taunts. He was grateful for it, somewhat—at least he didn’t have to strike a conversation of his own. There was nothing else to say, anyway.

Perching an elbow on his desk, he made sure no one noticed him biting his fist.

Of course, that wasn’t true. There were plenty of things to talk about—Kidman almost  _died,_  god damn it, and he didn’t even spare a word about it. And she would’ve died being right about the whole thing, too, despite his doubts. It would be irresponsible for him  _not_  to talk about it, both as her superior and as a person.

"Hey, Kidman?” he said, turning to her desk. Diligent as always, she was deep into another case, only pausing at the sound of his voice.

“Hm?” she said, turning to him. “Do you need anything, Joseph?”

“Well,” he started, before looking around for any unnecessary spectators. There were still a few officers around working on their pending cases, and he wasn’t too keen on having an audience. “Could I talk to you, for a second? In Sebastian’s office, if you don’t mind.”

She looked at him quizzically, but complied nonetheless. “... sure thing.”

He could still feel her confusion as they entered the room, which didn’t help any. Kidman crossed her arms, as if she was waiting for his response. 

“So...” she said. “... what’s up?”

Silently he berated himself. Eight years on the force and he couldn’t deal with a simple interaction. “Nothing, it’s just...”

Here it goes, he thought.

“I just... wanted to apologize,” he said, turning to her. “For doubting you earlier. As one of your commanding officers, it’s my duty to help you become a better detective. And I feel like I’ve just brought you down.”

Strangely enough, Kidman looked surprised, as if she had been expecting something else. She opened her mouth to speak, but the words didn’t seem to come to her. It was as if she was trying to find the right thing to say.

“I...” she managed to say. “I... didn’t think that way at all, Joseph,” she said, regaining composure. “It’s totally fine.”

Mentally, he wondered if the universe had just conspired to torment him. “Are you sure about that? I mean, you almost died back there.”

“It’s fine,” she said, a little too quickly. Immediately, she gave a smile to prove her good will. “Don’t worry about it. You were just doing your job.”

“Okay,” he said, stupidly. They then fell into uncomfortable silence, and Joseph prayed the ground would swallow him whole.

“But you know,” she said, breaking the silence. “I appreciate the apology nonetheless, detective. Thank you.”

“Oh, okay,” he said, a little too surprised. Berating himself, he immediately tried to remedy the awkwardness. “You should probably get back to work; I don’t want to take too much of your time,” he said, holding out the door.

She gave him another smile, but this time it felt a little more genuine.

“Yes sir.”

As she went out the door, he suddenly remembered something. Quickly, he called out to her one more time.

“And Kidman?”

She spun to face him.

“Yeah?”

He paused for a moment, then smiled. “Don’t work out too late, okay? We wouldn’t want our star rookie to get sick.”

And she responded. It’s strange, come to think of it, how he couldn’t quite remember what she said or how she reacted. Nonetheless, Joseph brushed it off, thinking he was just exhausted. He quickly turned around and locked the door

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Sorry for the long wait, been quite busy the past months (with fangirling over the RE2, no less), but a huge thank you for those who stuck around nonetheless ❤ Hope I could conk out the rest of the chapters in the following months, but nonetheless I hope you guys enjoyed this!


End file.
